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search tools: NIKKYBLOND was selfish, I know, but I didn't know any other way, and I couldn't hold it inside me anymore." Her brow wrinkled in pain and she closed her eyes. Then she took a deep breath and went on. "I don't imagine you could believe this, but it hurts me too. Maybe now that it's out in the open, we can deal with it."
"Deal with what?" I asked, the exasperation clear in my voice.
"Allen, you know this isn't the first time I've done something like this." Again, she fixed me with her calm stare. Her voice was cool, matter-of-fact. "I've been into these totally impersonal sexual adventures ever since I was about fifteen. I tried to give them up when we got married, but it only worked for a few months. Then I met some guy in a bar and spent the night with him, and that was it. Ever since then, I've been going out on the nights when you're away on business."